Should i sms my ex

Consider whether what you want to say is best said over text, by phone, or in person. If you just want to apologize and make peace, a text exchange might be sufficient, especially if you think seeing each other face to face again might be too hard or too confusing.

But if you want to discuss the possibility of getting back together, that's probably a conversation best had in person. If your ex hasn't responded to your texts, DMs, social media comments, or any other form of communication, it's time to back off. They might not want any form of communication with you, and you need to be able to respect their decision and their needs.

Their silence says all you need to know about the prospect of getting back together or being friends again. Even if you're sending a thoughtful, well-worded apology text, understand that your ex doesn't owe you gratitude, forgiveness, or really anything.

The bottom line: If you're going to reach out and text your ex, be thoughtful and exercise a lot of empathy. Want your passion for wellness to change the world? Become A Functional Nutrition Coach! Enroll today to join our upcoming live office hours. Our FREE doctor-approved gut health guide. You are now subscribed Be on the lookout for a welcome email in your inbox! Main Navigation. Should I Text My Ex? Log in Profile. Saved Articles. Contact Support. Log Out.

Your cart is empty. Our online classes and training programs allow you to learn from experts from anywhere in the world. Explore Classes. It is better to wait for the dust to clear. Caveat: If you broke up amicably, abstaining from contact is less important.

In fact, you must take care of your shared obligations! Which means communication lines need to remain open. This overrules all other rules. Which means if plenty of time has passed, and it is a special occasion? Stay clear!

Same if your ex is angry with you, or they were recently hurt by something you did. Avoid the urge to talk when you are not feeling good. You must not put your partner in that position. And, you only weaken your chances when you do. Do not chase a partner who does not have the heart and maturity to recognise their role in an equal partnership.

But, your future happiness might be at stake. Your partner will not want to be texted if the reason is that you see them as a kind of pain killer! And follow as best you can what your ex will find acceptable. Seeing how you just broke up, chances are good you are making avoidable mistakes. You should not text your ex at all to begin with. Then rarely after a decent break.

Then, if they are friendly enough, a little less rarely. And, if the good vibes continue, you can increase the frequency. Or, if your ex tells you not to contact them, give it a month or so.

And try again. And see what happens. I do not recommend texting your ex early in the morning or at night. You risk appearing needy and like you have nothing better to do. You can be friends with your ex. And, friendship is not going to close you off from anything more. People make a fuss about getting out of the friend zone and I understand why. But when you look closer at what is going on, it is really no problem. While not ideal, it is far from over when your ex is dating someone else.

If your ex is in a new relationship, you can still text them if you know what you are doing. For example, your ex might be in a rebound relationship. If you have not been apart for long, they will not have gotten over you in time. Starting a new relationship too soon makes it a rebound.

When one person brings baggage into the relationship, they are not ready for the relationship. If you can, stay in touch while they are in the new relationship. You can still text your ex when they are in a rebound relationship!

Texting is far from ideal. Compared to speaking on the phone or in person, you are disadvantaged. While you are waiting or are in-between contact you must not stalk your partner. Doing that could ruin your chances if your ex finds out.

Depends on what you use, who you are, and who your ex is. If you use one platform a lot, it may be suitable. But, if in doubt stick to plain text messages. Email has a different vibe. It is an option, a good one if your number is blocked, or you are blocked on social media.

My fallback advice is to stick with the basic medium you both always use. And, only you will know what that is. The text you send after no contact has one job: To gauge how receptive your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend is.

Still, perhaps, someday, it's possible to reconnect and be friends, but this depends entirely on how you feel. Only time will tell, but right now, do you. Your main priorities should be about getting better, and when you're ready, finding someone new. If you are currently seeing someone else, you should ignore all forms of communication with your ex in the vast majority of cases. If it's recent enough, it's just reopening old wounds, and by him or her reinserting themselves back into your life, it makes things harder to move on.

Not only that, it's unfair for the person that you are currently dating. If you respond, it takes your focus off of him or her, and it might make them think that you still have feelings for your ex and question whether they are a rebound.

Worst case scenario, your current partner might accidentally get involved in the drama, if there was any, especially if you've vented about your ex before. Therefore, it's best to give your current partner and yourself the respect that it deserves by discarding the messages, unless, of course, it's about something extremely important, like if you had kids with your ex and the reason him or her contacting you involves them. Many individuals understand when it comes to things like this but never make contact with an ex to chat; it's disrespectful for the man or woman you see.

Some exes will do everything in their power to get through to you, but this usually means that they'll spam your phone with text messages until you respond. It often gets the other person's attention, but it usually upsets them, having the opposite impact and not accomplishing anything. Perhaps this seems familiar, and you've already told him or her to stop texting you. Unfortunately, if you respond to these messages, it encourages them to keep writing or trying to call you, regardless of how you respond.

The reason that your ex does this is that it's hard to let go. Sure, some are trying to instigate and trying to bait an emotional reaction, but most of the time, it's because they are struggling without you around. This doesn't justify their actions, and it doesn't mean that you should respond. If it's become a problem, and you've already told him or her to stop contacting you, and they've disobeyed that request and are being disrespectful. You can tell them that once more, but if it doesn't help, don't respond to the texts anymore.

No matter what you do, they'll keep texting you, but it'll last longer if you answer them. If you don't give him or her any attention, they'll stop eventually. If not, you can consider changing your number or taking legal action. Couples fight all of the time, and conflict is just a part of being in a relationship - it's unavoidable and something that needs to be managed. While it's entirely up to the individual whether or not something is worth breaking up over sometimes there doesn't need to be a reason at all other than wanting to find someone else , there are times where some people can overreact to situations that aren't very severe.

Deep down, they didn't want to separate, but the knee-jerk reaction to something caused them to go through with it, and after a while, it leads to regret. Even a relationship with infidelity can survive, depending on how the person cheated on feels and how much they value the other person.

If you decide to forgive and get back together, it is highly recommended that you both seek counseling and therapy to help get you both back on the same page. Not all break-ups are permanent, and if your ex texts you want to patch things up and you are open to it, answering his or her message is the right thing to do in this case.

On the other hand, if you're not interested, you can ignore it and move on, as usual. As you can see, when it comes to responding to your texts from your ex, it's not always black and white, and it depends entirely on the context. You should ignore them in some situations, especially if you're doing your best to move on with your life, but there are others where answering it can be viable or even necessary.

Regardless of which route you decide to go, help is available, and at ReGain, a licensed mental health professional is available online to guide you.

Save yourself and your ex that heartache by staying away during that time. Those early morning and late night text messages typically suggest you share a more meaningful relationship.

If your goal is to keep things platonic, limit your texts to your ex to midday. An easy way to remind yourself of post-breakup text etiquette is by immediately removing any identifying emojis and nicknames from your ex's contact.

I know, I know; it doesn't sound like much. But it's a visual indication that shows up every time you open a conversation with them, reminding you things aren't the way they used to be. For me, it always helps me adjust the timing and tone of my text messages to match our new strictly friendly dynamic. Chris Armstrong , relationship coach. This article was originally published on By Sydnee Lyons and Hannah Kerns.

Updated: June 3,